Don't Know What to Call This Post D:

Ok, so I'm not trying to turn my blog into a diary but this week has been really really crazy. Insane. I'm just going to share two of the incidents I think were the worst. So the other day I was at work working hard or more like just sitting around while everyone else was working. Srry, I'm a little lazy lolz. But anyways, I see this old man that looked like Santa Claus--exactly like him, white beard everything except for the Santa clothing. So, he's very nice and polite and stuff and then he says, "I have a riddle for you." I'm like "What is it?" I'm so naive and dumb sometimes *smh*. And so he's like "Put out your hand." And I do it. I'm thinking: innocent old man has a riddle for me. I'm so curious. So he starts caressing my palm. It was so awkward. But I'm like waiting patiently as he explains this so-called riddle. He's talking and I'm listening and then he asks me (still fondling my fingers) "If the river is too deep how can the horse make it to the other side?" At that moment, I said "huh?" I was like really puzzled. And the old dirty perverted Santa clone says, "I don't know either. But thanks for letting me hold your hand." It gets worse. I'm shocked and disgusted as I pull away, but he uses his manly strength, pulling my hand forward as his yucky moist lips kiss my flesh. I was terrified. He was so strong, I couldn't pull away. He left my hand with a nasty, wet, sloppy kiss that felt as if he were attempting to suck my skin off. Ewwwww. He walked away laughing after watching me wash my hands. It was awful.

The next awful thing. I feel like such a jerk. So tonight I'm at work. I'm putting away some items and I'm at the register. I'm calm and peaceful, thinking about yaoi and then I hear a small voice--sounded like a cute girl's voice. I quickly turn around with a smile. And before I could even speak, my heart almost stopped and I became breathless, speechless. I could only make tiny stuttered whimpers like an animal. Facing me was this human spiderman looking girl. She was hairless--no eyelashes, eyebrows etc. Her skin was the color of fruit punch, she had big blue eyes. Her teeth look like jagged stones. Her face looked like a horrific Friday the 13th Jason mask only in a deep shade of red. My heart almost stopped. I became so faint-- lightheaded and tried to calm down. I feel so bad because I know the expression on my face was probably awful looking. And to make things worse, she leans into me with those big eyes torturing me as I try not to make eye contact, and she says, "You're very cute."

I couldn't take it. I feel so bad for her. I'm sure she's a beautiful person--a heart of gold. I'm just so dumb and immature. I was like really scared. And her skin was peeling. It was flaky like corn flakes. I'm so awful. So, I managed to tell her I'm in a rush b/c I have to pee. And she smiles at me saying, "that's fine. I'll wait." And my mind is racing. I called like every employee over the intercom. I couldn't even think. I just screamed out random names of employees. The girl looked like spiderman for real. And when an employee came to me asking what's wrong. I was like "help this customer I gotta go to the bathroom." And then I bolted off as quick as I could. I feel so bad. Please don't hate me. I feel so bad for the girl. Like God bless her. And yeah, I really had to get some air and nurse a bottle of water before I recovered from feeling so faint. I'm weak like that.