Kawaii Yaoi

Sometimes I rely on others too much. I think I need someone to talk to, but when is the line crossed between being polite w/ sympathy to actually meaning the kind words? I'm so foolish, its laughable. I can't tell the difference between politeness & sincerity. But where are those ppl that compliment me? Where are those people that say they love me? And worst of all, where are all the people who say they are my friends? They exchange kind words, so insincere & betray me when I think they care. I think my expectations are too high. I can't expect them to run to my rescue all the time. But I didn't expect them to ignore me and let me fall either. In the end...I have nothing. It makes me wonder: will they miss me when I'm gone? I'm not expecting the world to stop or anything, but atleast a goodbye.