28 September, 2011

Sekaiichi Hatsukoi OVA 2

It was so cute. Omg. The OVA follows Chiaki and Hatori's relationship. I wish there were more kissing scenes. Bummer. But its cute and we get to see how intimate they are since after all they were childhood friends. But Chiaki receives a phone call from his mother, forcing him to visit home. He brings Hatori to his home. They see his pushy mother and shy sister. They face the typical yaoi/ boyslove couple real life problem: how can the only son tell his parents that he's dating his childhood friend? Chiaki is then conflicted with the thought that his sister would be best for Hatori because she is a girl and his mother will appreciate it more if he also had a girlfriend. And then I got this random thought: Chiaki and his sister look very similar just like Wataru and Karin Fujii from OTRFK. Just a random thought, but it reminded me of that; w/e. But anyways, Chiaki is jealous which is so cute lolz :3 And then, so sweet, Hatori kisses him! eek! The end is the cutest when Hatori questions Chiaki's decision to drop the character that resembles Hatori and Chiaki replies b/c he doesn't like drawing the heroine in scenes with the character based off his lover. lolz those aren't his exact words but still it was cute lolz XD Can't wait for season 2 of Sekaiichi Hatsukoi.

26 September, 2011

Lumpy Arms :'(

The first time I tried Yardley of London oatmeal and almond, I was in an I’ll-try-anything-once mood: a Hollister shirt hugging my figure with a mane of sunshine blonde hair and tight denim cuffed above my ankles. The packaging of the soap bar was tempting. The soap was like a loveletter sprayed w/ perfume. It had attracted the attention of so many resulting in Yardley’s legendary reputation.

Yardley started in 1770 as a limited British cosmetic line before its successful products became global. My skin was dry and sensitive, so I when a product worked, I used it for life. Burt’s Bees was always a god send for me too. The soap carried a luxurious scent and my body wore a coat of suds. Its rich lather was impressive for its price. My skin rivaled silk after every use. Yardley was my new beauty addiction.

A year of use had passed and the soap never lost its charm. I used it in my daily routine until I noticed a difference. A bad difference. My arms. My arms were suffering. The forearm was covered in little whiteheads. I panicked. I was a pickle. It resembled a Nestle crunch bar. No itching or burning just ugliness. I didn't accuse Yardley. My new beauty gem couldn't be letting me down. I googled the condition. No luck on a cure. I tried a Neutrogena astringent. Nothing. I tried a moisturizer. I even prayed. My pickle arms remained. I couldn't live with lumpy skin. And finally my mom suggested life without Yardley. It was a struggle….but I was desperate. I kicked the habit with a solution. Dove.

05 August, 2011

What Have I learned?

Now this is very difficult for me to talk about b/c its about my family and well, family issues are just so extremely difficult for me to talk about--blog about anything. My family has money problems. I don't but the rest of my family does. For example: I buy everything name brand, have an android phone and I buy anything I want. I have a job and I always thought that isn't the reason people get jobs is so they can buy themselves stuff and pay their own bills. I like shopping. My family on the other hand, try to hold on to every penny and watch over how much I'm spending, hoping that the money I don't spend can be spent on them. Crazy, huh? I'm called selfish by my family because I go to work to make money and use the money on stuff i want. And they complain that I buy useless expensive things but still that's not their concern. Its my money, I can do whatever I want with it. My sibling is unemployed and has this belief that I'm lazy and my job isn't hard work for my money. My job may not be extremely hard but I take a lot of shit from customers and I don't even make that much money. I go to work and I write short stories and stuff while my sibling lays in bed all day--doing nothing.

And my sibling asks me to buy chips and soda and candy but doesn't wanna pay me back because he's unemployed. What kind of bullshit is that? Especially when he offered to pay me back and now he's saying I shouldn't accept the money that he pays me bac
k with. My response to that is then don't ask for snacks you can't fucking afford. And now my sibling feels that I should buy him a $60 dollar item. Just because I have a job doesn't mean I'm loaded w/ cash but to my family, if you're working a job then your money should be spent on them. But when my sibling had a job making way more than I've ever made we're talking $600 bi -weekly.I didn't get nothing for no $60. And for xmas which is also my birthday, my sibling bought 2 video games systems a Wii and PS3. My
sibling didn't even buy me a gift for xmas/b-day. Just b/c I have job doesn't mean anyone deserves a cent of my money. They say I but only stuff for myself--expensive useless stuff. That's just the stupidest shit I ever heard because I could easily say the same thing about the stuff they buy. And my sibling buys expensive $160 shoes and shirts and stuff. With that money my sibling should have bought the wanted $60 item. Am I seriously in the wrong here?

03 August, 2011

Should I Stay Or Should I Go

People come and go

Even when you want them to stay

Because when they go

You miss them

But sometimes its better if they go

And you stay

Because people go their separate ways

Even when you want to leave on good terms

Sometimes it’s the bad terms that make them go

And hard to make them stay

When they want you to go

Because you want them to stay and go.

But one can only go or stay

So I will go

So you can stay the same great person you’ve always been.

28 July, 2011

Relaxing Or Painful!?

This is silly but very painful. Im glad its not severe b/c I know I will be ok or at least I hope I'll be ok. I'm in so much pain right now. Sitting here typing is kinda painful b/c I can't turn my head, I have to turn my body. I woke up this morning and stretched in a funny way and instantly my neck like snapped. So yeah my neck is in so much pain that I can't turn my head. Took a hot shower and right now my neck isn't as awful as earlier still very painful and my head is cocked to the right. Trying to relaxing & not think about the pain, I downloaded Body Language by Aki Morimoto on my kindle app for android. It's a pretty good yaoi novel. Second time reading it. If you haven't read it, I'm probably gonna do a review on it maybe...xxxooox au revoir & hopefully I'll feel better soon. :'(

08 July, 2011

More Pain ;___;

So, I was at the nail salon, funn fun ikr, and I decided to try gel nails b/c I've had acrylic nails before and I liked them but I encountered an old lady that recommended I should get gel nails. So why not give it a try, n'est-ce pas? lolz. Anyways, I went to the salon and was seated at a little table. Very cute, petite woman helped me. She was so polite and gentle--she was amazing! Not to get off topic but when I went a different nail salon abt a year ago, this wild, rough man did my nails. Omg, he was so intimidating--like staring directly into my eyes w/o blinking as he sawed my hands off and twisted my wrist while constantly yelling, "RELAX!" in my face. And I couldn't complain to the owner b/c he was the owner. Scary.

So, yeah, my first time getting gel nails. All the reviews I read abt them were fairly good. I was sitting there and the lady was talking to me. I could barely understand anything she said. She was like talking to herself b/c I only laughed when she laughed. It was awkward. I started zoning out, watching General Hospital b/c that was on this giant tv in front of me. I looked at her and she said (what i heard) something, something, ow ow ow, but burning don't last long." I smiled and was like, "Oh ok." I went back to watching General Hospital as she guided my hand into a machine that looked like an easybake oven/ toaster thing. My hand was resting inside this thing. The lady turned on a little fan. She said, "this will take away pain," and smiled.

Before I could even smile back, my hand--my nails felt like it was on fire! Tbh, it felt like hot candle wax had been dumped on my finger. Imagine a hot glue gun pressed on tender flesh. I howled. She laughed. The worst part: that was just the burning of one finger. I had 9 more to go. :( The end results were kinda worth it. Idk. For any of u virgin gel nail fingers, be prepared to scream. Hot candle wax is so not sexy to me anymore, though, I'd still like to see an uke tortured w/ hot candle wax dripping down his chest, but yeah. It hurt. Pretty much paid for pain. lolz xxoxoxo

A Whole Lot of Pain :'(

Im in pain. Not a lot of pain but enough pain that when I move, I'm reminded of what happened. I'm kinda embarrassed too. I was trying to prove to my sibling that going outside at night is not scary. And I dashed outside screaming and leaping--Im pretty much beyond crazy >.> & I was screaming a song I heard Peter Griffin sing in Family Guy, it was like: ding fries are done, ding fries are done or something like that. And I was wearing ugg boots even though it's summer and as I ran, I did a long leap, kicking both my legs out as if I was doing ballet. So the first leap was successful but the second one--err...not so much. I slipped on the wet grass and fell forward and landed face first in the middle of the empty street. My hands had slapped against the ground so hard, I heard this awful slapping noise. I twisted my left wrist and I scraped my knee and hurt my ankle. :'( The palms of my hands had little cuts on them that bleed a little. And instead of helping me, my sibling was laughing at me. I was on the GROUND, literally in a daze--trying to figure out why one minute I'm running and now I'm kissing the ground. Like wtf? O__O and then I slowly got up and limped to the front door. Ow ow ow! My hands still hurt. DX

06 July, 2011

Important stuff D:

Hmm...I've been thinking abt a lot lately. Like moving out, writing, working & some junk. I feel inspired again! ^o^ isn't that great?! I feel inspired to write more fanfiction, orig. fiction and even a couple articles for magazines. Abt a month ago, the blinking cursor that used inspire me, only haunted me but now, I'm in love with filling the blank page w/ words again. Im excited. I want to write men fucking and sucking and spanking and kissing--NAKED MEN IN BED! tbh, Im not sure what pairing I wanna write abt. Any suggestions? O__O All is good in the writing dept. lolz :D

But on to other things. My mom DOESN'T like me writing smut. She calls it garbage. :'( With all honesty, I dont give a fuck what she says or thinks abt yaoi or smut or me writing yaoi smut. :p I wanna move out, not just b/c my mom doesn't like smut but b/c of the abuse done by mom and dad. I blogged abt some of the secret abuse in an earlier post. Don't wanna upset myself by writing abt it now. Srry. So, yeah, I'm moving out and I'm trying to form a move out plan. My parents are no help, so I've been talking to friends and stuff, but still Idk. My plan was to save up some money, I can't get a scend job b/c of school, so I was trying to sell stuff on ebay. I don't just want the money for the ebay stuff, but also, I want to get rid of some things so moving out will be a little easier. I've been donating clothes and stuff--it's all name brand so some lucky kid will be sporting free Armani and stuff lolz XD Overall, I'm trying to pay off my bills b/c I have serval maxed out credit cards and blah blah loans--blah blah blah. =__= but I keep spending more than I save. Now that my paycheck is direct deposit, I spend it so quickly, its ridiculous. In other words, ehow is practically my lifesaver although it can't solve all problems...or maybe it can ;D but yeah, suggestions/ a little help or tips on moving out would be nice. xxoxoxx :3

15 June, 2011

Me, Me & More Me...?

It's blue outside right now...like almost 5am and I haven't slept. I've been thinking. Yes. All night. Not having sex but thinking all night. I was just thinking about my family. I live with them but they're just so crazy...ok maybe not crazy but abusive. And I'm not blaming them for all my problems but they have caused a lot of problems for me. I'm only 20 years old, so maybe there are things I don't understand, but I can't live with my parents anymore. I just can't. I can't take the abuse and even though my mom doesn't hit me or anything, I think she's still a part of the abuse. My dad is abusive physically and mentally. He attacks everyone in my family. The police have come to my house so much that they threatened to no longer come because they believe the family just needs a little counseling. Well it's more than a little counseling can fix. The police are useless. They do nothing. I tried to press charges against my dad for attacking me and for some reason that angered the police and suddenly they wanted to arrest me. Cops are useless biased pigs. I guess what I'm trying to say is that my dad has been attacking me--vicious fights because I don't hesitate to defend myself and my mom gets mad at me for calling the police to protect myself or for defending myself. She tells me not to tell anyone. She talks about kicking me out of the house or punishing me for defending myself.

My dad and I have had many fights. He is a lazy greedy abusive bastard. My parents always complain about money. They say they have monstrous bills but not one of them gets a second job to pay anything. No matter how much money they get it's never enough. My dad constantly wastes money on the lottery, beer and cigarettes and I don't even know what else. And my mom won't buy anything. She feels guilty even buying food for the family and she stopped doing everything. She doesn't cook, clean but she works a 9-5 job and then comes home every night and just watches netflix. When she does go food shopping it's only $20 worth of food. And when the microwave broke, my parents picked up a microwave they found on the side of the road. bleh. I hate my parents because they're ridiculous. She makes more than $15 usd an hour and she can't BUY a microwave?! WTF! But this is off topic.

My dad attacked me a couple weeks ago. The police were called. I got hurt. They took him away. He came back and everyone wants to act like nothing happened. I'm not over it. Everyone is talking to him and stuff. I'm upset. I'm still mad. The police threatened to arrest me even though it was self defensive. I was the victim. But because my mom, who was mad at me for calling the police even through my father was throwing me around the house as if I were a teddy bear, told the cops I attacked my father and that he was defending himself from me. Isn't that ridiculous? If I were to get arrested, then that could cause me to lose financial aid for college and if I actually went to jail I could lose my job. My mom is just so stupid. I hate her. I hate both my parents. My mom is fucking crazy. She lets my dad abuse her and every night they run to me or my sibling to call the police. I just hate her. My mom told me she was gonna get a divorce from my father when I turned 18 years old. Well, I'm fucking 20 years old now! She's always looking for excuses. I hate this bitch so fucking much. She's always trying to scare me about moving out and traveling. I'm just so sick of this bitch. She always has something negative to say--always shooting down my ideas and saying I'm crazy. This bitch is whacked. She even discouraged me as a homoerotic author. That's what I like to write so deal with it bitch. I'm not changing for her.

But still, why is everyone acting like my dad's abuse is ok? Nothing changes. I'm fucking sick of it. SICK OF IT!!! I promised myself I wouldn't blog about this, but oh well. I like only putting interesting things on my blog not this stupid family shit. But yeah, I can't live with my parents. They're just too crazy and abusive. But I honestly think that because of my family issues being kept a secret for more than 10 years, I learned how to shut everyone out. It's kinda difficult to understand but I can be a social person but simultaneously, I don't know how to open up to ppl about my true likes--the real me. I've never told anyone that I like yaoi or that I'm an author. I don't say anything I care about to people. And most people think I'm this amazing angelic person. I'm always smiling, handing out compliments, I never stand up for what I believe in, I don't argue--I'm just this submissive docile happy person to everyone outside of my family. My family are the only people that have seen the true lazy person I am. But Idk, maybe I'm really shy? But I also think that my family troubles are always on my mind because that is what I come home to almost every night, so it bothers me but I can't tell anyone and I don't wanna tell anyone because it might ruin my perfect reputation, my mom will be extremely mad and everyone thinks my dad is this amazing handy man. Something has to be done. This post can't even describe the craziness of my mom. And I haven't slept at all tonight but had to get it off my chest. Goodnight my loves xxoxoxxx ;D

08 June, 2011

Beautiful Lightening

To me, lightening is so beautiful. I love watching it streak through the ash black sky. It's just so wonderful--the noise of the heavy rain plunging to the ground and the thunder cracking the sky like a whip. It's sexy. I would like to have sex in the wet grass on a stormy romantic night...or tie an innocent uke (or twink) to a tree and smack his asscheeks w/ a belt and maybe shove a cock like twig up his ass--I'm cruel. I wouldn't let him cum. HA! That's a little off topic--my perverted mind wandering--la la.

More importantly, I didn't know my friends were afraid of lightening. I was w/ my friend and suddenly the sky turned black--so black it looked like the world was coming to an end srsly. I was not scared. I just kept walking. And suddenly, this loud cracking thunder like a lion's roar echoes through the air. My friend started screaming. I was like "calm down." And then the lightening filled the sky.

Constant streaks of purple--looked just like lightening in the movies. My friend was now running and screaming. I was still not scared. It was just lightening. I understand ppl die from being hit by lightening but still I just wasn't scared. So, the lightening was still striking and my friend was screaming "We're in an open area. we're gonna die. I don't wanna die." My friend was literally almost in tears. And the police saw my friend running & screaming like a crazy person. They pull over and stop us. My friend ran into their car like an idiot, slamming against the car and fell down. The police got out of the car and my friend was hysterical. I was so embarrassed. They checked my friend for alcohol b/c they think my friend was obviously drunk or fucking crazy. And they gave us a ride home. So fucking embarrassing. Bleh. =__= Pika pika pikachuuuuuuuuuuuu.

04 June, 2011

Sekaiichi Hatsukoi, Junjou Romantica & My Thoughts

Awww I love Sekaiichi Hatsukoi. I love Junjou Romantica a lot too. I always remember how far Shungiku Nakamura-sensei has come. I remember when I was in I think it was 8th grade--Junoir high school and I stayed home sick from school, of course I wasn't really sick. HA! But I begged my dad for $13 USD and he was like, "Why do u always want 13 dollars? That's such a weird amount." And I would just giggle. Little did he know it was because Digital Manga titles were $12.95 at the time. And I was so excited when I rushed into Borders' manga section, scouting out yaoi titles. I was so happy. And there it was, sitting between two non-yaoi titles was Hybrid Child. Do you remember Hybrid Child?! It was the first manga I ever read by Shungiku Nakamura. I loved that manga. Robotic Ukes being kissed and cuddled by their seme masters. It was just the cutest thing. Of course, now, I can't remember what my favorite story was in the manga but it's really cute. Anyone that hasn't read the manga really should.

30 May, 2011

Icecream is the Enemy :'(

Ice cream and me, an unsepartable pair, right? Yeah, pretty much. I like dairy products like milk in my coffee, ice cream, cheese (everything except yogurt. Yogurt is gooey and gross. ewww.) But anyways, I drink probably about 2 iced lattes per day and I eat a lot of ice cream. Some days are good days and other days are bad. Problem is I just never know when a bad day will happen. I could just stop consuming dairy products but that's impossible. Me give up creamy delicious ice cream? Hellz No. But I gotta becareful. I once ate ice cream & was rushed to the ER because I couldn't stop puking. Also I suffered one night w/ my forehead pressed against the bathroom sink, clutching my stomach, breaking out in a cold sweat and praying to God, I'll never eat ice cream again. ugh. Majority of the time I'm ok, so I'm not lactose intolerant. But one time, I ate ice cream. I order a wonderful ice cream sundae w/ whipped cream and rainbow sprinkles, hot fudge and caramel sauce--I went all out! And I was w/ my friend. We had a great time, but the ice cream was so much I couldn't even finish it.

I felt ok. My friend was ok. We started walking and talking and stuff. We went to the store and everything. I was still ok. So, it was getting late like pitch black sky late. The moon was out, little stars filling the sky and the streetlights guiding me and my friend on the pavement. Suddenly, my stomach starts rippling in so much pain. I could barely walk at the same pace as my friend. I tried to ignore my stomach. We were almost to my house. Everything was gonna be ok. I kept walking. My friend is still talking. It got pretty bad from there. My stomach was like tying itself in knots. I stopped walking. It hurt too much to go on. My friend stops and looks at me, "What's the matter?" I was like,"Nothing. I dropped something in the bushes over there." My friend was like "Huh? How? Your not near the bushes." And then w/o any explanation, I dashed over to these two brushes. They were facing the towards the street. No cars were coming. The street was really quiet. As I yank my pants down, the fabric circling my ankles, I started going to the bathroom. I was shocked at myself. It was dark so no one could see me (atleast no one could see my identity since the bushes were shadowing me. HA!)

My friend knew exactly what I was doing from the smell. I was embarrased lolz. It was coming out and suddenly a bunch of cars start coming down the street w/ their high beams like a spotlight shining on my ass, I felt like I was shitting on center stage or something. It was fucking awful. I hurriedly tried to run into the brushes the so the cars couldn't see me. And guess what?! knowing my luck, I not only fell on my back into the bushes, but I also stepped in my own mess. My friend was laughing so hard. I wanted to say SHUT UP! IT'S NOT FUNNYYY! but I was trying to escape the bushes w/o getting anymore shit on me. OMG. I had to wipe w/ a leaf. Leaves feel absolutely NOTHING like toliet paper. Don't ever try it. So yeah, my friend laughed at me all the way to my house. It was a bad ice cream day. :(

21 May, 2011

Nakajima & Keita

I love Nakajima. He's so sadistic :3

23 April, 2011

Hanamachi Monogatari

Currently playing this game. I like it a lot :3 Wish I could find English translations? :D

15 April, 2011

I honestly shouldn't be posting anything on my blog since I'm very busy & all my homework is overdue and I do very little than I used to, so as a matter of fact please kill me. Thank you that is all. Twitter is taking over my life. Help. me. pleaseeeeeeee.

14 April, 2011

Thunderbolt Boys Excite vol. 2

I really like this manga. It's very sexy, but I haven't read the first volume. I only read the second volume, which I liked but I didn't understand the story much. I know it's about two handsome models that fall in love. Ritsu invites his uke boyfriend, Natsui to a beautiful hotel for them to have to sex. But Natsui gets scared b/c he's still a virgin, and therefore, Ritsu starts pressuring him. And when Natsui rejcts him, he gets a prostitute that looks exactly like Natsui. But before the prostitue and Ritsu can have sex, Natsui interrupts them, saying he can't let them b/c sex should be done when ppl are in love & that he's in love w/ Ritsu. And then Ritsu apologizes and they have hot, steamy sex. There are a couple more stories in the manga. They're hot & kinda interesting. The artwork is wonderful. Beautiful. Exciting! Also, I heard that the mangaka of this work is dead. RIP Asami Tohjoh. ;_;

11 April, 2011

Sometimes I rely on others too much. I think I need someone to talk to, but when is the line crossed between being polite w/ sympathy to actually meaning the kind words? I'm so foolish, its laughable. I can't tell the difference between politeness & sincerity. But where are those ppl that compliment me? Where are those people that say they love me? And worst of all, where are all the people who say they are my friends? They exchange kind words, so insincere & betray me when I think they care. I think my expectations are too high. I can't expect them to run to my rescue all the time. But I didn't expect them to ignore me and let me fall either. In the end...I have nothing. It makes me wonder: will they miss me when I'm gone? I'm not expecting the world to stop or anything, but atleast a goodbye.

09 April, 2011

So cute! :3

Usagi-san & Misaki! Adorable couple.

06 April, 2011

Sekaiichi Hatsukoi OVA

YAY! It's finally April. Sekaiichi Hatsukoi anime will be released soon, so I kinda feel like watching the OVA is a bit of a teaser :p Saga is a really hot seme. He's so mysterious, gentle, reticent and bold. It's cute. And Ritsu reminds me of Misaki & Hiroki from Junjou Romantica combined, so that's kinda cool. My two favorite characters combined into one character. Doesn't get any better than that. But I'm very excited to watch the anime series, spanning 12 episodes. I can't wait!!!! Ahhhhhh!! I'm getting all fangirly just thinking about it!! ^o^ Also, I heard that the manga will be licensed by BLU in the US and will be release sometime in July. How cool is that, huh? YAAAAY!! Can't wait so excited. I've already read some of the Sekaiichi manga a while ago, so I know it's really good. I'm also looking forward to Junjou Romantica Vol. 13 coming out in June or something like that. Yaoi FTW!!!!! See y'all later as we await the release of the Sekaiichi Hatsukoi anime!! xxoxoxoxox Au revoir ;D

29 March, 2011


This has been on my mind for a while. It makes my heart ache a little. My job is good. I like it but the ppl have changed. They are so distant now. But i could careless except for one of them. I wish I could rewind the clock back to my first day. I was so fresh & promising--the day I met him. He was kind. His smile was gentle. He liked my company. We were friends. Friends. We looked forward to seeing eachother @ work. @ first he meant nothing to me but Idk exactly when my feelings crossed over. Suddenly he was always on my mind. & I was so sad when he had days off. I cried inside if I couldn't see him. I'd check our schedules & come looking my best for him. We had so much in common; we could talk for hours. & When he changed positions, I hid my tears & he hid his. & I just wanted to hang out but his feelings for me were so much more.

He took me to dinner & a movie--a romantic date. It caught me by surprise & he thought we didnt belong together. I was no longer an option to him. After, we talked less & less, me trying to keep our relationship alive. I was so desparate. But he grew colder & colder as if his heart had frozen over. Now were so distant @ work--no conversation when see each other. No "how r u"--nothing. He speaks to everyone except me. When I try to talk I only seem like a bother. I give up. He's only cold to me. I cry inside. His feelings for me are dead.

27 March, 2011

My Almost Perfect Date

So, it is been abt 3 days from when I last saw my date, I keep forgetting his name & spelling it wrong. His name isn't that difficult but w/e. I'm just gonna admit right now, he's an ok guy, idk if it's right for me to say that he's a good guy. But anyways, he is kinda an urban gentleman, I mean like, he treats me well & is resceptful & he keeps pushing honesty. I'm kinda a honest person but I'm not gonna tell him everything. But we talked abt our families & stuff. And as we're walking down the street, I see my dad's car & then I look up...BAM! My dad is in my face. I take a deep breath & i'm like "Hi dad, this is that guy I told you abt yesterday." My date's face is priceless. He is terrified. My dad is a pretty big and scary guy, but he doesn't scare me lolz. He shakes my dad's hand. My dad (the most embarrassing omg) My dad says "u can call me Killer b/c I will not hesitate to do u know what." My date laughs & my dad says "don't laugh, I'm serious. I'll wipe that smile off ur face." I'm shaking my head as my date, says "yes, sir I understand." Embarrassing. I couldn't wait to go.

After, my date constantly explains to me that he's a respectful, honest guy. He says he's "real". He's not trying to act all tough or brag but he's a real gangsta w/ a capital G. I hear this abt 34692730008184 times on our date. I'm like, "I get it. Ur a gangsta or w/e." And then he tells me abt all the fights he's gotten into and I feel kinda bad, like I'm bashing him on my blog but I'm not. I have no comment. Maybe he really is a respectful gangsta. We cool? Yeah. My feelings are very difficult. I wasn't interested in our conversation but I wasn't annoyed either. I think I was hungry. But the more he's talking, the more nervous I become. Like, he doesn't have a car or his lincense b/c he lost his lincense from driving drunk. I don't like drunk driving b/c that is so stupid and dangerous, like that makes me so angry & he told me he was recently fired from his job for eating a sandwich & then paying for it later. No comment. After all, that I became so nervous, I kept thinking "omg, will he have enough money to pay for dinner?" I've never felt that way on a date before.

I'm trying to eat my dinner & the waitress was a bitch. My date keeps bluntly saying he can read ppl well and he says "I'm shy." I'm thinking: of course I'm shy u idiot, I'm on a date w/ a kinda cute guy. Duhhhh. But instead I politely smile & giggle a little. And then, this kinda pised me off...a little. He says, "I can tell ur kinda smart. At first I thought u were ditzy & dumb. I'm just being honest." I should've smacked him. WTF is that suppose to mean? He's a dumbass. But w/e. Before the date could end, I had to hear abt his AA exprience. He would be so hurt if he read this. I feel so bad for writing it, but w/e. Still I have no comment, but I don't think I wanna see him again maybe, I'm not sure. He keeps texting me like a maniac & now he's probably wondering why I haven't texted back. Every text is asking me if I had a good time w/ him. Well, if he's soooooo good at reading ppl, read this: I'M NOT INTERESTED lolz


I've been kinda influenced to post this b/c I love KHR, I watched it a while ago but not recently but...I...have a secret love for Hibari! I'm like obsessed w/ him. He's so cool & tough! & honestly I think Hibari & Dino are the sexiest yaoi pairing in KHR. They're my favorite b/c Dino is so a seme and Hibari is a tough uke. That's so sexy. I have a secret love for tough ukes, but I like quiet, innocent ukes & fiesty ukes. I like all ukes. There I said it. My uke blah blah blah & I like all semes--err...most semes except for Kanou. Not important. I don't like him. w/e kinda had to get my Hibari love off my chest.

Hiro & Nowaki :3

Aww Hiroki...I feel the same way when ppl are blunt b/c I'm kinda a sneaky person and I have done that kind of thing before too. Just like Hiro, I have watched this boy I liked from across the street and when he confronted me, I was blushing like crazy & so embarrassed & he had known since the day I started watching him. So embarrassing. I'm very shy /// but anyways, Hiro blushing for Nowaki is so cute ^.^

19 March, 2011

Life After Breakdown & Burnout

It's very difficult for me to say this at this moment in my life. Things have changed. My outlook on life has changed, and I have become very aware of my surroundings. I lose ambition. I lose direction. I'm still unstable but I will be ok. I have learned to live life to the fullest. I loss focus. I'm exhausted but I don't sleep at night anymore. I refuse to turn off the light at night as well. There are certain nightmares I have in daylight and nighttime. Nightmares that I can't get out of my mind. I have been tripping out a lot lately, but I'm recovering. I have breakdowns and burnouts that require me to give up on my ambitions, avoid going to work, uncompleting homework, and not going to class. I will be okay. I will try hard to remain okay and resume back to my normal life structure. Of course my routine will undergo some alterations. But I will no longer be afraid. I have the power of the all mighty forever in my heart. Everything will be ok. That's is all. Thank you friends. Also, I'm very excited because new yaoi animes and manga is on the way. I heard Sex Pistols vol.6 will be released in the US and Junjou Romantica vol. 13 will be released in June or something like. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the 5th vol. of Only the Ring Finger Knows to be released to the US, but idk. But let's all be excited and wait for the upcoming yaoi animes to be released. Sekaiichi Hatsukoi!! ^_^ love y'all bye bye xxoxoxo

28 February, 2011

Dynamite Darling!

Dynamite Darling! YAY! xDDD Ok, seriously, I can not describe the beauty of this game in words. It's an old yaoi/ bl game by Spray. I love Spray. But the game is more on the bl side b/c it's not explicit like Hanamichi Monogatari (I love that game ^^) but it's no Gakuen Heaven Boys' Love Scramble, where the most shocking scene is when Nakajima rams an ink pen up Keita's butt, in which that scene is still kinda hot. If you haven't played Gakuen Heaven then you like totally should. But anyways, Dynamite Darling follows the stories of 4 different couples. The characters are cute. 4 cute ukes and 4 handsome semes. The game is difficult to explain if u haven't played it, so that makes my talking about it kinda stupid lolz. But I'm talking about it b/c I love everything about this game, the music, the characters and everything!! ^o^ It's a rare game and I can't find a way to upload the game's intro from the disc and I'm getting frustrated by not being able to let everyone know how cool this game is. My Japanese isn't that good anymore like it was when I used to play the game when I was much younger. Totally hate myself and with that being said I can barely remember the storyline for each character. The 1st story is about two boys that fall in love w/ each other at a summer basketball camp. The second story is about a boy upset b/c his boyfriend is graduating & will be leaving the school. The third story is about a guy having an affair w/ a professor (not too sure about that) and I can't remember the last story. Really good game. Yaoi/BL games FTW!! ^o^

05 February, 2011

Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi Trailer!! ^u^

I'm so excited and happy and words can't even explain these rapid yaoi loving feelings--my heart is bursting with joy. I heard in April the anime adapted episodes will start airing. I don't know if that's true. But I hope so!! I really can't wait. New yaoi anime!! ^_________________^ (thanks to the youtuber that uploaded the trailer. Thank u :3)

Memories T^T

Idk. This could be thought of as really ridiculous or maybe I'm just a child at heart. But recently, I've been thinking a lot about everything and suddenly I thought of this time I cried a lot. I was much younger at the time like maybe 10 years old (i'm not sure of the age). Anyways, it started when I came home from school and my cat had caught a mouse. She bit its side and it was bleeding. But my sister stopped the cat from killing it. I was horrified at seeing this bleeding mouse on the floor. So my sister got it out of my sight, saying it was going to be okay and she was going to put it outside. I didn't worry about it. Night fell and it was winter, so I stood near the heater and there was a strange box near the heater. It was a small box that looked like a PlayStation 1 video game could fit in it. And I nudged the box to move it out of my way. And suddenly that mouse with the bloody side rolls out of the box as well.

The mouse was bleeding all over the box, but it was still alive. I could see its tiny mouth gasp for air and its chest was heaving up and down and it was making this faint squeaking noise. Its eyes were closed and it was paralyzed in a sprawled out position. Its little arms and legs seemed so stiff, but simultaneously its chest was moving rapidly. I wish I could've saved it but it wasn't like I could give it mouth to mouth or anything. But it continued to gasp for air as its faint cries slowly died out. Its life was slipping so quickly. I wanted to save it. But the mouse and I both knew that saving its life was impossible. And finally giving its last breath for air, it became stiff in appearance with its mouth now closed and its eyes remaining shut, it was dead--suffered from such a slow painful death. The pain it must've felt was probably so great, but watching it suffer pushed me to tears. I just wanted to save it, but I was so...powerless. I don't blame my cat for its death--I can't blame anyone. And then in a frenzy of tears I rush to my mom. She threw the dead mouse outside in the yard. And she was like, "You can't cry over that mouse. It wasn't even your pet." And no matter how much I explained it to her, she never understood that watching it die was so painful. D:

04 February, 2011

I Can't Decide...?

I really can't decide about this. I love fanfics. I prefer to write them more than read them since most of the ones I read, I spend time correcting the grammar and reconstruction the story in my mind, but I always leave a good review because no body's perfect. I'm not perfect and good reviews are encouraging and I understand how brutal some reviews can be--hurting ppl's feelings and all--then there is constructive criticism and blah blah blah...not important. So anyways, I want to write many fanfics and even original stories and stuff but I don't have enough time with school and work and more school and work--driving me pretty crazy. And I have some family issues that maybe I'll talk about some day...just not now. Thinking about moving out soon...I don't wanna go there right now lolz xD, but back to the fanfics, I have like all these ideas and I finally cut it down to three possible pairings but I'm only writing one fanfic so I'm gonna choose between Yuuri/ Wolfram from Kyou Kara Maou, Durer/Guys from Enzai (teehee getting in touch with my sadistic side ^///^) or Suzaku/Lelouch from Code Geass. I really can't choose, but honestly, I think I'll probably write all three. I absolutely love love love these couples lolz XDD Yaoi FTW!!!! Any suggestions? :3


03 February, 2011

Attempted Assassination

The room felt as cold as Hope remembered. He took a breath letting the little clouds of breath stream from between his lips. He calmed his chest. He closed his eyes in thought. Today would be the day, he thought. “Snow.” The name spilled from his mouth in a whisper. And his fingers gently glided along the sharpness of the knife’s blade. A thin smile curled on his face. And suddenly, he heard the sound of footsteps echoing in the corridor, the faint shadow trailing toward the room’s door. Snow stood with the light off and slowly the doorknob turned. Hope’s smile widened, watching the door slowly open and the creaking noise following the sudden movement. No one was around to protect his victim—the perfect time for an assassination—his angered revenge. Light poured in the darkened room, the fidgety Snow poised; and standing before him in renewed air was Snow. Hope’s fingers were trembling as he gripped the handle of the knife. Snow looked at him. “It’s dark in here. Why are you in here?” Snow said and then walked passed him, flicking the light switch. “You know, you can be one creepy kid sometimes.” Hope was silent as the light enchanted his face. He turned to Snow, staring at the man. He gritted his teeth. His fingers locked around his knife. Should I kill him now, Hope thought staring at Snow’s back. But it wasn’t until then he realized how sexy Snow’s backside could be: masculine curves, so muscular—such a sexy physique. Snow blushed and stepped back. A slight coo came out of his mouth. He distorted.

“Want somethin’ to drink?” Snow said as he poured a tall glass of beer and ushered it toward Hope. Hope shook his head, “I’m not thirsty.” His eyes fell downcast following Snow’s every move. His fingers then fiddled with knife again, and imaging his mother, the life Snow took, he stomped his foot. “Snow.” He said, “How do you manage to live with yourself? After all you’ve caused—the lives that were taken?”

Snow looked at him.

“Well? Answer me. How can you fix all the lives you’ve ruined?”

“Look! I can’t fix anything. I can only move forward. Forward.”

Hope’s chest heaved up and down; the wetness of his tears layered his skin. And at that moment he couldn’t control himself. He rushed forward, stabbing his knife through the air. This fiery rage burned in his chest. His voice was choked in his throat. “Whoa! What are trying to do, kill me?” Snow dodged the first attack.

“Yes! Yes, that’s exactly what I’m trying to do. You—my mom died because of you.” Dodging the second attack, Snow clutched Hope’s wrist. His grip was so tight it was sure to leave a bruise.

“Let me go.” Hope tried to shake his arm free but Snow was too overpowering. He looked into the man’s disgruntled face with the grip only getting tighter. A sudden fear cast over his body. He’d never seen Snow this angry before. He wanted to run away.

“Listen here. I can’t change the way things are. I can only try for the future.” And with his words, he slammed Hope against the wall.
Hope tried to speak but his smothered voice only met the lashing of Snow’s tongue. And a small moan escaped. Snow pushed up against him, this warmth on his body, his gaze locked on the man’s eyes. He’d never felt this heat flow through his body with his heart pounding in his chest. He moaned a little, feeling Snow’s saliva lace his lips. Even the stunning shattering sound of his knife hitting the floor beside his feet seemed so far away. What was this feeling? he thought. He closed his eyes tightly as Snow nipped at his neck—smothering his flesh with warm marks. Hope wanted to push Snow away. He twitched. It was shameful that a man that caused his mother’s death could ever make him feel so good –so pleasurable. His collarbone was stained with Snow’s kisses, feeling the boy’s chest, gliding his big fingers on Hope’s newly erect nipples. They were so sensitive and tender; Hope gritted his teeth to fight back his cries. Then staring at the boy again, Snow captured the boy’s sweet lips, pushing against the boy’s tongue and weaving their mouths together like yearn. Hope’s cooing could only be heard in between breaths of their kisses. He managed to look away, his heart blossoming as he witnessed the act of their passionate kisses in the reflection on the sharp blade of his knife.

Hope began to tremble as he struggled to hide this new stir between his thighs. He blushed. He wanted Snow to take him, finish the pleasure he started. He whimpered. Snow smirked. He invitingly rubbed his hand against Hope’s throbbing cock. “Hard already?” he said. Hope didn’t response with words. He wanted to cling to Snow, but instead he kept his arms at his side. He couldn’t fight this battle with his heart. “What’s the matter? Too afraid to beg me to screw you?” Snow said and then he smiled again.

“Get away from me.” At the response and the disgruntled Hope, Snow retreated a little and then pushed Hope against the wall again, “How can you say that when you’re so stiff down there, huh?” He eyed the boy’s blushing face. And then slowly unzipping his pants; the ragged noise filling the room. Hope gasped. He didn’t expect Snow to actually want to pleasure him. “I know you’re inexperienced, but I’ll be gentle. Promise.” Snow placed his hand in Hope’s pants, squeezing the boy’s ass cheek. Hope moaned. Snow slowly turned him around, his forehead leaning against the wall, the arousing coolness clinging to his face. His pants circled his ankles and the clinking of his belt buckle slamming the wooden ground echoed in his ears. He closed his eyes tightly and pressed his palms against the wall. “I’m ready.” He said.

“Are you sure?” Snow said, grinning at the boy’s shuddering body. Snow’s hot fingertips brushed against Hope’s tender skin. He violently jerked. “I’m not ready.” He shook his head. Snow rolled his eyes, “Is it gonna be like this all night with you? Jeez.”

“Shut up.”

“Come on Hope. This’ll teach to be a real man one day.”

Hope silently gasped. Could it be Snow was right? To take it like a man? How would he grow stronger if he always ran away? Coward. He gritted his teeth and closed his eyes, “I’m ready.” he said.

“There’s no turning back now, y’ know?” Snow lascivious clicked his tongue. Hope’s shivering body was the invitation Snow had been awaiting for so long. He licked his lips at the boy’s blushed cheeks, light hair covering his face. With his fingers, Snow pushed apart the boy’s cheeks, probing the invitingly tight hole with his finger. He ignored Hope’s little whimpers.

“Are you ready?” Snow said as he pushed his fleshy member against Hope’s entrance. Hope moaned at just feeling the tip slightly probe his walls. Snow gently clutched Hope’s waist, sliding his fingers up and down. And pushing his shaft all the way inside, Hope’s high pitched moans echoed throughout the room, his virgin hole stretching to thick size. Hope’s face distorted as tears ran down his skin, his breath coming out in chucks, his fingers grappling at the wall, simultaneously squeezing Snow’s wrist from behind. His heart beat quickened and a thin coat of sweat laced his entire his body. He groaned more and more as Snow pressed in deeper, jaggedly thrusting against his inner walls. The slick manrod constantly aiming for the pleasure spot, pummeling the boy until Hope could barely stand, using Snow’s grasp on his hips as support. His face was slammed into the wall, feeling the welcoming coolness on the wallpaper as his body as he was embraced from the back. His cock was so hard he assumed it’d explode anytime. He blushed at their sloppy noises filling the surroundings, Snow’s balls banging against Hope’s hot flesh.

Snow positioned his feet slightly apart. He was trying to be gentle with the virgin, but he was a rough guy no matter how anyone looked at it. And slowly he bent down slightly, following the trail of Hope’s backbone, lacing it with kisses. Leaving the flesh with little bruises from where his lips had pressed. Hope moaned loudly. The sharp sensation and heavy thrusting, he didn’t think he’d last much longer, his tears dropping to the floor. Snow pounded the boy with his fingers bruising the sides of his hips where he gripped him tighter and tighter. A heavy moan poured out of Snow mouth. And his hand slowly slid down to Hope’s swollen member. Just the brush of his hot fingertips, Hope tensed up. His moans were louder than before, but Snow didn’t stop there. He squeezed the head of the cock.

“Don’t cum yet,” he said, “I wanna cum together.” And a sweet smile dawned on his face. His pace quickened and his thrusting was fierce, the boy’s flesh slapping against his balls. His jagged breath washed over Hope’s sensitive skin and every now and then he nipped at the sweet flesh. Snow’s hands caressed the swollen cock, massaging the boy’s ass with his grinding hips. It wouldn’t be too much longer before even Snow’s loins gave way. He pushed in deeper. And another sharp whimper pulled from Hope’s throat. His member twitched. Snow lost control of his member. He wished he could go longer. His creamy white jizz filled Hope deep inside like a doughnut. Simultaneously, Hope’s moan became a shriek as he fell limp. His head dizzy and his body full of excitement. And between his legs, his own cum dripped down his pale skin and oozing from his stretched anus was Snow’s manly creamy. Hope could barely stand. And suddenly he collapsed into Snow’s arms.

“Hope.” Snow held him. He looked at the boy’s heavy eyelids, slowly closing. “I was too much for you.” Snow snickered. He laid Hope’s bare body on the couch near the window. He layered the boy’s body with a blanket and smiled. I’m kinda tired myself, Snow thought as he glanced over at Hope’s peaceful, exhausted face. He grinned and laid on the couch, cuddling the boy in his warmth. And slowly, he kissed the Hope’s cheek as his closed his eyes and only his light snoring could be heard.

26 January, 2011

Maybe I'm Too Sensitive...?

This is kinda hard to explain and maybe I shouldn't get so upset about this but at my work I was very excited to move into a new department, the cosmetic department (yay! ^.^), now I understand that I'm a novice since I've only been working there for almost a year, but don't get me wrong I'm a great worker. So, I'm about to go to the department and all of sudden this woman I work with starts screaming at me. She was like I don't want you in this department. You're no good. But I'm like, "The manager said that I could work in this department." And then the woman was like, "I don't care who said you could come here. You're a beginner. You're useless." And then my manager wouldn't let me into the comestic department. :'( The woman continued to yell at me even more. She was calling me all these names and stuff, saying that me going into that department wasn't right. And maybe I expected too much but I thought my manager would back me up. Instead he betrays me and agrees with her. I felt like she was beating me up with just her mouth. She hit me at my weak spot, she said, "I don't know anything about the department b/c I'm kinda new." I tried to act civil. I'm like, "It's ok. I understand." Secretly, I could feel the tears harden behind my eyes. And my chest tightened. So, this other person got put in the cosmetic department. I can kinda understand her but she didn't have to scream at me and freak out like she was possessed. And sadly...I think it really hurt my feelings. I felt like a glass that shattered all over the floor--crushed. I can't be an expert if you don't teach me. Or maybe I'm just pathetic to be upset over something so trivil. It was just so unexpected.

I told my friends about it, and they thought it was horrible. But I never mentioned to anyone that after holding back my tears at work and becoming overly defensive with customers that I cried when I got home. The manager knew that I was really upset when he'd catch me staring off lost in thought. And the woman embarrassed me b/c when she shrieked and stuff, almost all the other employees were near us. I was humiliated, degraded and underestimated. But I feel like that often since >I've been there almost a year but haven't been trained in any other department than the one I started in while everyone else has been trained in all departments. And when I ask to be trained, the managers blow me off nicely. And even now as I write this I'm just so angry. I was really looking forward to working in cosmetics. Sadly, right now I'm crying, letting the tears blur my vision, so since I can barely see the text...I'll stop writing.

24 January, 2011

Lelouch & Suzaku ^_~

Def one of my favorite pairings xDDD I love Lelouch ^o^ So cute. Look at Lelouch's sexy horny gaze and Suzaku is so cute with his nervous blushing. Love it! Yaoi FTW! XDD xxoxoxo

20 January, 2011

The Sudden Urge *sighs*

I've been playing Final Fantasy 13. Pretty good game, but one problem. Hope. Hope is my problem. Everytime I see him, I get this sudden urge to write all sorts of crazy erotic fanfiction. This is embarrassing, but he's just so cute. He'd be a great uke. ^^ I really want to write him paired w/ Snow but Snow is so old for him & so much bigger--Hope would get crushed D:. Something about Snow being so big and manly really turns me on and makes want to write him pummeling Hope really really badly. I can't help myself. I'm so crazy. I've been thinking about writing a fanfic for many days now. And finally I'm on my breaking point. I must write this. Most ppl seem to think Snow/ Hope fanfics are ewww, so I might not post it on the blog. D:

17 January, 2011

My Dearest Admiration ~

Sixteen year old Cloud sat on the edge of his bed, restlessly kicking his legs out back and forth. It was hard to concentrate with the creepy noises echoing throughout the Shin-Ra Mansion. The day had been so exhausting, meeting up with Tifa and going to the reactor with his most admired, Sephiroth. His body was exhausted. But he couldn’t sleep, the tiredness weighing on his eyelids; he couldn’t keep his mind off him. Sephiroth had vanished into the basement of the Shin-Ra mansion and no one had heard a word from him since. Sephiroth was special.

At times, Cloud thought about him so much, he realized he had wasted an entire day imagining what it would be like if Sephiroth held him close with those strong arms. What was this feeling? It seemed more than just pure admiration with the way Cloud’s heart beat so quickly whenever he was in Sephiroth’s presence. He placed his hand on his chest, feeling the vibration of his heartbeat. Sephiroth had kissed him once. Not too long ago. But ever since then, Sephiroth acted as if it didn’t mean anything. Cloud took a deep breath. His fingers brushed along his lips in the spot where his lips were once pressed against his hero’s. Maybe Sephiroth had forgotten about their kiss—his feelings. Impossible. That kiss they shared was just too special. At least Cloud hoped it was treasured by Sephiroth just as much as he treasured it. But conveying his feeling would be a waste. It was obvious Sephiroth wouldn’t return them. From what he known, Sephiroth was never the type of man to fall in love—he was a man devoted to his work.

Cloud’s eyes fell downcast. Just the name alone created a stirring between Cloud’s thighs. He rubbed his hands back and forth over his throbbing member. He closed his eyes with a smile. It would be nice if Sephiroth’s long, slender fingers were wrapped around the shaft, sliding up and down. Cloud softly moaned. This was pathetic. He was frustrated. Frustrated that every night he masturbated to the thought of Sephiroth—sometimes even stealing a lock of Sephiroth’s hair just feel like he was always near his love.

He couldn’t recall when his admiration had transformed into something more—when he had fallen in love with a man so great—Sephiroth. He bit his bottom lip. Another night alone with just his imagination. He sighed, revealing his swollen cock, his pants circling his ankles. He flinched at the slight wind that brushed against his sensitive skin. And suddenly he heard the floor creak from behind his bedroom door. Slowly the door knob turned. And as if magic the tall, devious man with silver hair pouring from his scalp like a fountain, stood in the entrance. “Sephiroth,” the name unconsciously spilled from between Cloud’s lips. Cloud gasped. He wasn’t expecting Sephiroth at this time of night. He hadn’t seen the man in days and here, standing before him with straight posture and a lascivious smirk was Sephiroth. A strong shudder controlled Cloud’s thin body. Sephiroth took a step further. Cloud had so much he wanted to say but in the end he fell speechless. With Sephiroth’s lustful eyes perusing every aspect of Cloud's body, his eyes locked on Cloud’s exposed fleshy red member.

Sephiroth’s hot breath rested lightly on Cloud’s flesh. Cloud flinched at the new sensation washing through his frail body. He surrendered himself at the man’s first touch. And in the amidst of night his body had a hunger for pleasure. Sephiroth pressed his finger against Cloud’s lips and then dragged it downward, letting his fingernail roughly glide Cloud’s neck. “S-Sephiroth.” was all Cloud could manage to say. “

The bed sheet wrinkled as Sephiroth climbed on top of Cloud. His fingers played along the boy’s jawline and then before the overwhelmed Cloud could say anything his lips were captured, only his smothered breaths could be heard. And a strangled humming pulled from Cloud’s throat. He felt a sudden loneliness when their mouths parted.

“You’ve been thinking about me, haven’t you?” Sephiroth whispered as he stared into Cloud’s eyes and slide his fingers lightly along the shaft of Cloud’s member. Cloud turned away, blushing. “N-no.” he managed to say with his heart beating so quickly, he assumed it’d explode in his chest. He slightly moaned; gnawing on his bottom lip to diminish the volume of his moans as Sephiroth fingers roughly brushed against his member. Then gripping the head of Cloud’s cock roughly, he said in a sadistic tone, “Liar.” His voice was almost a deep whisper as he placed his lips to Cloud’s ear, “I see the way you’re always watching me—wishing to be me.” He then smirked. Cloud’s eyes widened. He blushed and a thin coat of sweat now covered his body. Sephiroth clicked his tongue staring at his prey and then he easily dragged his moist tongue down Cloud’s neck, planting tiny kisses as he reached the collarbone. Cloud moaned loudly as Sephiroth coated his sensitive nipples adorned like red rubies in saliva. He didn’t know if he could stand for anymore of this without cumming. And as if Sephiroth could read his mind, Sephiroth squeezed the tip, “You can’t cum until I say you can.”

“S-Sephiroth—hnnnng--!” Cloud couldn’t manage to say much now that his lips were smothered by Sephiroth’s deep kiss, their tongues woven together and the more Cloud attempted to cry out, his lips met Sephiroth’s each time, caressing Cloud’s blazing body with his hot fingertips. Cloud wished Sephiroth would never let him go. At that moment, he wanted Sephiroth to take him. No one would know about this. It was a secret just between them. And maybe somewhere in Sephiroth’s heart he shared the same feelings for Cloud. Only the rusted walls could witness their powerful dance of love making. Cloud’s clothes layered the wooden floor and his blond hair covered the coldness of the pillow. All he could see was Sephiroth’s devious and handsome features above him, the shirtless man.

Cloud struggled to control his trembling body, now with his and Sephiroth’s eyes locked on each other, he was embarrassed. The timid look in his eyes was more than an invitation to Sephiroth, his thick manrod pushing against Cloud’s tight entrance. Cloud moaned. He clenched the bed sheet. He turned his head as he wheezed. But Sephiroth covered Cloud’s gasping lips with his own as he pushed his member into the virgin hole without pulling out for Cloud’s body to adjust to his thick size. At first Cloud felt faint at the new pain surrounding him, his body stretching for such a fat cock. The penetration was so deep, Sephiroth’s heated balls met with flesh. He chuckled as if he knew it would hurt Cloud. And simultaneously Cloud was weak. He barely could hold back his cumming at just the first thrust. His hips bucked back and forth as Sephiroth’s tongue teased his nipples again.

This new sensation running through his body was so warm and bold. He couldn’t tell which he enjoyed more the pain or the pleasure. Hearing the sloppy noises of their friction made him blush.

“You’re so sensitive today. Don’t hold back your voice.” Sephiroth said as he squinted. And before Cloud could respond with words, Sephiroth wildly pummeled Cloud in a renew frenzy. The bed springs squeaked and Cloud bit the pillow and finally he released a high pitch moan that echoed throughout the mansion. He was unprepared for Sephiroth’s vicious thrusting; beads of sweat tracing the outline of Sephiroth’s chiseled abs. Cloud moaned more and more with Sephiroth violently targeting Cloud’s pleasure spot with the tip of his massive cock. Cloud wrapped his delicate arms around Sephiroth, hoping he’d thrust more slowly—lovingly.

Cloud managed to place his lips near Sephiroth’s ear and in his gasping voice he whimpered, “Be gentle with me. I’m fragile.” A tear escaped his eye.
Sephiroth laughed and pushed him down, skimming Cloud’s sensitive skin with his lips. And then drawing his lips to Cloud’s tender nipple, he scraped it with his teeth and then heartlessly bit the sensitive flesh. Cloud shrieked. Strangely, even if he’d never admit it aloud, he liked the pain—and Sephiroth knew this.

Sephiroth slowly thrust back and forth and then he quickened his pace. Cloud rocked up and down. Cloud couldn’t take anymore. His eyes were watery, half opened and his voice was growing hoarse from his high-pitched panting. His body was on fire. And with his pale blue colored eyes, he looked up at Sephiroth, sweaty and cooing, gripping Sephiroth’s arm with his fingers, “P-please...” he whimpered, “please let me…cum.” And then his grip weakened and his hands fell limp. In an outburst, his load burst out as he felt Sephiroth simultaneously fill him up with hot creamy cum.

Cloud laid there looking up at the sweaty Sephiroth through his teary vision. His chest slightly heaving up and down with tiny moans escaping his lips, and drizzling down his legs like milky icing was Sephiroth’s man juice.

Sephiroth stood up as he watched Cloud’s heavy eyelids shut. He chuckled to himself taking one last look as he approached the door. “Traitor.” He said and then exited, leaving the boy alone to dream of him until tomorrow’s sunlight.

14 January, 2011

Bad Luck :D

My life..err..I'm kind of a private person like I keep many secrets from my family and friends -- everybody. Isn't there a word for something like that. Paranoia? But anyways, it's embarrassing, but I have a favorite porn star, well many favorite porn stars but that's not the problem. Don't judge me lolz xD. So, one day, there was this porn site I was really interested in ^///^ (talking about this is really making me blush a lot)and the site was like having a special offer. It was only charging 1 USD for 3 days of access. I never buy porn b/c its so expensive and I get bored with it easily, but for 1 USD I was like, "hell yeah." So I got my access and as I expected, the porn site was so not what I wanted. So, I cancelled my subscription and that was that. Here goes--just my luck, right?

Next day, I forgot all about it and used my debit card to buy candy only to be denied. And I was like, "No way. I'm sure I have at least a few dollars in my bank acct." I went to the bank to see what was going on and guess what?! That porn site company had taken every cent from my acct and more causing like so many bank fees. My acct was 1000 USD negative. OMG! I was so pissed. So I called the porn site and demanded my money back. I spoke with this very RUDE guy in Hungary who kept giving me fake e-mail addresses and contact info. The fucking bastard. But the worst part out of all of this was when the rude guy on the phone asked me the name of porn site that I had paid for, he said he was going to look up my acct and needed the name of the site. I was so embarrassed. I couldn't say it out loud with my mom in the same room. So, I tried to mumble it on the phone, but the guy couldn't understand what I was saying. So, I got the brilliant idea of going outside. It was cold out as I stood behind my house. And finally I said the name of the porn site really loud. It was horrible. The site's name was so embarrassing, I'm not even gonna write it. And then from behind me, I hear an old woman's voice say, "Oh my god. You're disgusting." I turned around, my neighbors were outside, staring at me. And the woman was covering her child's ears with her hands. I blushed. I was so embarrassed. Like I wish I could've disappeared. But in the end, things worked out good. I got all my money back, the bank dropped the fees and I learned not to buy porn. But my neighbors still give me weird looks. I'm so embarrassed. They even told my parents. :'(

12 January, 2011

Marginal Prince

There are many words to describe Marginal Prince, but I think the best choice would be RANDOM! The show is so weird and random, but strangely, it is very cute and addicting. And just like everyone else, I really wish there was a stronger yaoi-ness to the show. It does have somewhat boyslove (very unsatisfying) intended scenes that are enjoyably cute, but I wish there was kissing and stuff ;_; but I really can't complain, y'know. The show is pretty good and I will like totally go watch it somemore. Also, Yuuta reminds me of Keita from Gakuen Heaven just a little. I like those cute, kind-hearted characters. But this anime is kinda old like I watched it before a couple years ago & I wasn't very impressed by it. It's really not that good. For anyone who hasn't watched Marginal Prince, I think you should give it a chance b/c it's worth a good laugh lolz :D