Icecream is the Enemy :'(

Ice cream and me, an unsepartable pair, right? Yeah, pretty much. I like dairy products like milk in my coffee, ice cream, cheese (everything except yogurt. Yogurt is gooey and gross. ewww.) But anyways, I drink probably about 2 iced lattes per day and I eat a lot of ice cream. Some days are good days and other days are bad. Problem is I just never know when a bad day will happen. I could just stop consuming dairy products but that's impossible. Me give up creamy delicious ice cream? Hellz No. But I gotta becareful. I once ate ice cream & was rushed to the ER because I couldn't stop puking. Also I suffered one night w/ my forehead pressed against the bathroom sink, clutching my stomach, breaking out in a cold sweat and praying to God, I'll never eat ice cream again. ugh. Majority of the time I'm ok, so I'm not lactose intolerant. But one time, I ate ice cream. I order a wonderful ice cream sundae w/ whipped cream and rainbow sprinkles, hot fudge and caramel sauce--I went all out! And I was w/ my friend. We had a great time, but the ice cream was so much I couldn't even finish it.

I felt ok. My friend was ok. We started walking and talking and stuff. We went to the store and everything. I was still ok. So, it was getting late like pitch black sky late. The moon was out, little stars filling the sky and the streetlights guiding me and my friend on the pavement. Suddenly, my stomach starts rippling in so much pain. I could barely walk at the same pace as my friend. I tried to ignore my stomach. We were almost to my house. Everything was gonna be ok. I kept walking. My friend is still talking. It got pretty bad from there. My stomach was like tying itself in knots. I stopped walking. It hurt too much to go on. My friend stops and looks at me, "What's the matter?" I was like,"Nothing. I dropped something in the bushes over there." My friend was like "Huh? How? Your not near the bushes." And then w/o any explanation, I dashed over to these two brushes. They were facing the towards the street. No cars were coming. The street was really quiet. As I yank my pants down, the fabric circling my ankles, I started going to the bathroom. I was shocked at myself. It was dark so no one could see me (atleast no one could see my identity since the bushes were shadowing me. HA!)

My friend knew exactly what I was doing from the smell. I was embarrased lolz. It was coming out and suddenly a bunch of cars start coming down the street w/ their high beams like a spotlight shining on my ass, I felt like I was shitting on center stage or something. It was fucking awful. I hurriedly tried to run into the brushes the so the cars couldn't see me. And guess what?! knowing my luck, I not only fell on my back into the bushes, but I also stepped in my own mess. My friend was laughing so hard. I wanted to say SHUT UP! IT'S NOT FUNNYYY! but I was trying to escape the bushes w/o getting anymore shit on me. OMG. I had to wipe w/ a leaf. Leaves feel absolutely NOTHING like toliet paper. Don't ever try it. So yeah, my friend laughed at me all the way to my house. It was a bad ice cream day. :(