Took a hot shower and right now my neck isn't as awful as earlier still very painful and my head is cocked to the right. Trying to relaxing & not think about the pain, I downloaded Body Language by Aki Morimoto on my kindle app for android. It's a pretty good yaoi novel. Second time reading it. If you haven't read it, I'm probably gonna do a review on it maybe...xxxooox au revoir & hopefully I'll feel better soon. :'(
28 July, 2011
Relaxing Or Painful!?
This is silly but very painful. Im glad its not severe b/c I know I will be ok or at least I hope I'll be ok. I'm in so much pain right now. Sitting here typing is kinda painful b/c I can't turn my head, I have to turn my body. I woke up this morning and stretched in a funny way and instantly my neck like snapped. So yeah my neck is in so much pain that I can't turn my head. 
Took a hot shower and right now my neck isn't as awful as earlier still very painful and my head is cocked to the right. Trying to relaxing & not think about the pain, I downloaded Body Language by Aki Morimoto on my kindle app for android. It's a pretty good yaoi novel. Second time reading it. If you haven't read it, I'm probably gonna do a review on it maybe...xxxooox au revoir & hopefully I'll feel better soon. :'(
Took a hot shower and right now my neck isn't as awful as earlier still very painful and my head is cocked to the right. Trying to relaxing & not think about the pain, I downloaded Body Language by Aki Morimoto on my kindle app for android. It's a pretty good yaoi novel. Second time reading it. If you haven't read it, I'm probably gonna do a review on it maybe...xxxooox au revoir & hopefully I'll feel better soon. :'(
08 July, 2011
More Pain ;___;
So, I was at the nail salon, funn fun ikr, and I decided to try gel nails b/c I've had acrylic nails before and I liked them but I encountered an old lady that recommended I should get gel nails. So why not give it a try, n'est-ce pas? lolz. Anyways, I went to the salon and was seated at a little table. Very cute, petite woman helped me. She was so polite and gentle--she was amazing! Not to get off topic but when I went a different nail salon abt a year ago, this wild, rough man did my nails. Omg, he was so intimidating--like staring directly into my eyes w/o blinking as he sawed my hands off and twisted my wrist while constantly yelling, "RELAX!" in my face. And I couldn't complain to the owner b/c he was the owner. Scary.
So, yeah, my first time getting gel nails. All the reviews I read abt them were fairly good. I was sitting there and the lady was talking to me. I could barely understand anything she said. She was like talking to herself b/c I only laughed when she laughed. It was awkward. I started zoning out, watching General Hospital b/c that was on this giant tv in front of me. I looked at her and she said (what i heard) something, something, ow ow ow, but burning don't last long." I smiled and was like, "Oh ok." I went back to watching General Hospital as she guided my hand into a machine that looked like an easybake oven/ toaster thing. My hand was resting inside this thing. The lady turned on a little fan. She said, "this will take away pain," and smiled.
Before I could even smile back, my hand--my nails felt like it was on fire! Tbh, it felt like hot candle wax had been dumped on my finger. Imagine a hot glue gun pressed on tender flesh. I howled. She laughed. The worst part: that was just the burning of one finger. I had 9 more to go. :( The end results were kinda worth it. Idk. For any of u virgin gel nail fingers, be prepared to scream. Hot candle wax is so not sexy to me anymore, though, I'd still like to see an uke tortured w/ hot candle wax dripping down his chest, but yeah. It hurt. Pretty much paid for pain. lolz xxoxoxo
So, yeah, my first time getting gel nails. All the reviews I read abt them were fairly good. I was sitting there and the lady was talking to me. I could barely understand anything she said. She was like talking to herself b/c I only laughed when she laughed. It was awkward. I started zoning out, watching General Hospital b/c that was on this giant tv in front of me. I looked at her and she said (what i heard) something, something, ow ow ow, but burning don't last long." I smiled and was like, "Oh ok." I went back to watching General Hospital as she guided my hand into a machine that looked like an easybake oven/ toaster thing. My hand was resting inside this thing. The lady turned on a little fan. She said, "this will take away pain," and smiled.
Before I could even smile back, my hand--my nails felt like it was on fire! Tbh, it felt like hot candle wax had been dumped on my finger. Imagine a hot glue gun pressed on tender flesh. I howled. She laughed. The worst part: that was just the burning of one finger. I had 9 more to go. :( The end results were kinda worth it. Idk. For any of u virgin gel nail fingers, be prepared to scream. Hot candle wax is so not sexy to me anymore, though, I'd still like to see an uke tortured w/ hot candle wax dripping down his chest, but yeah. It hurt. Pretty much paid for pain. lolz xxoxoxo
A Whole Lot of Pain :'(
Im in pain. Not a lot of pain but enough pain that when I move, I'm reminded of what happened. I'm kinda embarrassed too. I was trying to prove to my sibling that going outside at night is not scary. And I dashed outside screaming and leaping--Im pretty much beyond crazy >.> & I was screaming a song I heard Peter Griffin sing in Family Guy, it was like: ding fries are done, ding fries are done or something like that. And I was wearing ugg boots even though it's summer and as I ran, I did a long leap, kicking both my legs out as if I was doing ballet. So the first leap was successful but the second one--err...not so much. I slipped on the wet grass and fell forward and landed face first in the middle 
of the empty street. My hands had slapped against the ground so hard, I heard this awful slapping noise. I twisted my left wrist and I scraped my knee and hurt my ankle. :'( The palms of my hands had little cuts on them that bleed a little. And instead of helping me, my sibling was laughing at me. I was on the GROUND, literally in a daze--trying to figure out why one minute I'm running and now I'm kissing the ground. Like wtf? O__O and then I slowly got up and limped to the front door. Ow ow ow! My hands still hurt. DX
of the empty street. My hands had slapped against the ground so hard, I heard this awful slapping noise. I twisted my left wrist and I scraped my knee and hurt my ankle. :'( The palms of my hands had little cuts on them that bleed a little. And instead of helping me, my sibling was laughing at me. I was on the GROUND, literally in a daze--trying to figure out why one minute I'm running and now I'm kissing the ground. Like wtf? O__O and then I slowly got up and limped to the front door. Ow ow ow! My hands still hurt. DX
06 July, 2011
Important stuff D:
Hmm...I've been thinking abt a lot lately. Like moving out, writing, working & some junk. I feel inspired again! ^o^ isn't that great?! I feel inspired to write more fanfiction, orig. fiction and even a couple articles for magazines. Abt a month ago, the blinking cursor that used inspire me, only haunted me but now, I'm in love with filling the blank page w/ words again. Im excited. I want to write men fucking and sucking and spanking and kissing--NAKED MEN IN BED! tbh, Im not sure what pairing I wanna write abt. Any suggestions? O__O All is good in the writing dept. lolz :D
But on to other things. My mom DOESN'T like me writing smut. She calls it garbage. :'( With all honesty, I dont give a fuck what she says or thinks abt yaoi or smut or me writing yaoi smut. :p I wanna move out, not just b/c my mom doesn't like smut but b/c of the abuse done by mom and dad. I blogged abt some of the secret abuse in an earlier post. Don't wanna upset myself by writing abt it now. Srry. So, yeah, I'm moving out and I'm trying to form a move out plan. My parents are no help, so I've been talking to friends and stuff, but still Idk. My plan was to save up some money, I can't get a scend job b/c of school, so I was trying to sell stuff on ebay. I don't just want the money for the ebay stuff, but also, I want to get rid of some t
hings so moving out will be a little easier. I've been donating clothes and stuff--it's all name brand so some lucky kid will be sporting free Armani and stuff lolz XD Overall, I'm trying to pay off my bills b/c I have serval maxed out credit cards and blah blah loans--blah blah blah. =__= but I keep spending more than I save. Now that my paycheck is direct deposit, I spend it so quickly, its ridiculous. In other words, ehow is practically my lifesaver although it can't solve all problems...or maybe it can ;D but yeah, suggestions/ a little help or tips on moving out would be nice. xxoxoxx :3
But on to other things. My mom DOESN'T like me writing smut. She calls it garbage. :'( With all honesty, I dont give a fuck what she says or thinks abt yaoi or smut or me writing yaoi smut. :p I wanna move out, not just b/c my mom doesn't like smut but b/c of the abuse done by mom and dad. I blogged abt some of the secret abuse in an earlier post. Don't wanna upset myself by writing abt it now. Srry. So, yeah, I'm moving out and I'm trying to form a move out plan. My parents are no help, so I've been talking to friends and stuff, but still Idk. My plan was to save up some money, I can't get a scend job b/c of school, so I was trying to sell stuff on ebay. I don't just want the money for the ebay stuff, but also, I want to get rid of some t
hings so moving out will be a little easier. I've been donating clothes and stuff--it's all name brand so some lucky kid will be sporting free Armani and stuff lolz XD Overall, I'm trying to pay off my bills b/c I have serval maxed out credit cards and blah blah loans--blah blah blah. =__= but I keep spending more than I save. Now that my paycheck is direct deposit, I spend it so quickly, its ridiculous. In other words, ehow is practically my lifesaver although it can't solve all problems...or maybe it can ;D but yeah, suggestions/ a little help or tips on moving out would be nice. xxoxoxx :3
15 June, 2011
Me, Me & More Me...?
It's blue outside right now...like almost 5am and I haven't slept. I've been thinking. Yes. All night. Not having sex but thinking all night. I was just thinking about my family. I live with them but they're just so crazy...ok maybe not crazy but abusive. And I'm not blaming them for all my problems but they have caused a lot of problems for me. I'm only 20 years old, so maybe there are things I don't understand, but I can't live with my parents anymore. I just can't. I can't take the abuse and even though my mom doesn't hit me or anything, I think she's still a part of the abuse. My dad is abusive physically and mentally. He attacks everyone in my family. The police have come to my house so much that they threatened to no longer come because they believe the family just needs a little counseling. Well it's more than a little counseling can fix. The police are useless. They do nothing. I tried to press charges against my dad for attacking me and for some reason that angered the police and suddenly they wanted to arrest me. Cops are useless biased pigs. I guess what I'm trying to say is that my dad has been attacking me--vicious fights because I don't hesitate to defend myself and my mom gets mad at me for calling the police to protect myself or for defending myself. She tells me not to tell anyone. She talks about kicking me out of the house or punishing me for defending myself.
My dad and I have had many fights. He is a lazy greedy abusive bastard. My parents always complain about money. They say they have monstrous bills but not one of them gets a second job to pay anything. No matter how much money they get it's never enough. My dad constantly wastes money on the lottery, beer and cigarettes and I don't even know what else. And my mom won't buy anything. She feels guilty even buying food for the family and she stopped doing everything. She doesn't cook, clean but she works a 9-5 job and then comes home every night and just watches netflix. When she does go food shopping it's only $20 worth of food. And when the microwave broke, my parents picked up a microwave they found on the side of the road. bleh. I hate my parents because they're ridiculous. She makes more than $15 usd an hour and she can't BUY a microwave?! WTF! But this is off topic.
My dad attacked me a couple weeks ago. The police were called. I got hurt. They took him away. He came back and everyone wants to act like nothing happened. I'm not over it. Everyone is talking to him and stuff. I'm upset. I'm still mad. The police threatened to arrest me even though it was self defensive. I was the victim. But because my mom, who was mad at me for calling the police even through my father was throwing me around the house as if I were a teddy bear, told the cops I attacked my father and that he was defending himself from me. Isn't that ridiculous? If I were to get arrested, then that could cause me to lose financial aid for college and if I actually went to jail I could lose my job. My mom is just so stupid. I hate her. I hate both my parents. My mom is fucking crazy. She lets my dad abuse her and every night they run to me or my sibling to call the police. I just hate her. My mom told me she was gonna get a divorce from my father when I turned 18 years old. Well, I'm fucking 20 years old now! She's always looking for excuses. I hate this bitch so fucking much. She's always trying to scare me about moving out and traveling. I'm just so sick of this bitch. She always has something negative to say--always shooting down my ideas and saying I'm crazy. This bitch is whacked. She even discouraged me as a homoerotic author. That's what I like to write so deal with it bitch. I'm not changing for her.
But still, why is everyone acting like my dad's abuse is ok? Nothing changes. I'm fucking sick of it. SICK OF IT!!! I promised myself I wouldn't blog about this, but oh well. I like only putting interesting things on my blog not this stupid family shit. But yeah, I can't live with my parents. They're just too crazy and abusive. But I honestly think that because of my family issues being kept a secret for more than 10 years, I learned how to shut everyone out. It's kinda difficult to understand but I can be a social person but simultaneously, I don't know how to open up to ppl about my true likes--the real me. I've never told anyone that I like yaoi or that I'm an author. I don't say anything I care about to people. And most people think I'm this amazing angelic person. I'm always smiling, handing out compliments, I never stand up for w
hat I believe in, I don't argue--I'm just this submissive docile happy person to everyone outside of my family. My family are the only people that have seen the true lazy person I am. But Idk, maybe I'm really shy? But I also think that my family troubles are always on my mind because that is what I come home to almost every night, so it bothers me but I can't tell anyone and I don't wanna tell anyone because it might ruin my perfect reputation, my mom will be extremely mad and everyone thinks my dad is this amazing handy man. Something has to be done. This post can't even describe the craziness of my mom. And I haven't slept at all tonight but had to get it off my chest. Goodnight my loves xxoxoxxx ;D
My dad and I have had many fights. He is a lazy greedy abusive bastard. My parents always complain about money. They say they have monstrous bills but not one of them gets a second job to pay anything. No matter how much money they get it's never enough. My dad constantly wastes money on the lottery, beer and cigarettes and I don't even know what else. And my mom won't buy anything. She feels guilty even buying food for the family and she stopped doing everything. She doesn't cook, clean but she works a 9-5 job and then comes home every night and just watches netflix. When she does go food shopping it's only $20 worth of food. And when the microwave broke, my parents picked up a microwave they found on the side of the road. bleh. I hate my parents because they're ridiculous. She makes more than $15 usd an hour and she can't BUY a microwave?! WTF! But this is off topic.
My dad attacked me a couple weeks ago. The police were called. I got hurt. They took him away. He came back and everyone wants to act like nothing happened. I'm not over it. Everyone is talking to him and stuff. I'm upset. I'm still mad. The police threatened to arrest me even though it was self defensive. I was the victim. But because my mom, who was mad at me for calling the police even through my father was throwing me around the house as if I were a teddy bear, told the cops I attacked my father and that he was defending himself from me. Isn't that ridiculous? If I were to get arrested, then that could cause me to lose financial aid for college and if I actually went to jail I could lose my job. My mom is just so stupid. I hate her. I hate both my parents. My mom is fucking crazy. She lets my dad abuse her and every night they run to me or my sibling to call the police. I just hate her. My mom told me she was gonna get a divorce from my father when I turned 18 years old. Well, I'm fucking 20 years old now! She's always looking for excuses. I hate this bitch so fucking much. She's always trying to scare me about moving out and traveling. I'm just so sick of this bitch. She always has something negative to say--always shooting down my ideas and saying I'm crazy. This bitch is whacked. She even discouraged me as a homoerotic author. That's what I like to write so deal with it bitch. I'm not changing for her.
But still, why is everyone acting like my dad's abuse is ok? Nothing changes. I'm fucking sick of it. SICK OF IT!!! I promised myself I wouldn't blog about this, but oh well. I like only putting interesting things on my blog not this stupid family shit. But yeah, I can't live with my parents. They're just too crazy and abusive. But I honestly think that because of my family issues being kept a secret for more than 10 years, I learned how to shut everyone out. It's kinda difficult to understand but I can be a social person but simultaneously, I don't know how to open up to ppl about my true likes--the real me. I've never told anyone that I like yaoi or that I'm an author. I don't say anything I care about to people. And most people think I'm this amazing angelic person. I'm always smiling, handing out compliments, I never stand up for w
hat I believe in, I don't argue--I'm just this submissive docile happy person to everyone outside of my family. My family are the only people that have seen the true lazy person I am. But Idk, maybe I'm really shy? But I also think that my family troubles are always on my mind because that is what I come home to almost every night, so it bothers me but I can't tell anyone and I don't wanna tell anyone because it might ruin my perfect reputation, my mom will be extremely mad and everyone thinks my dad is this amazing handy man. Something has to be done. This post can't even describe the craziness of my mom. And I haven't slept at all tonight but had to get it off my chest. Goodnight my loves xxoxoxxx ;D
08 June, 2011
Beautiful Lightening
To me, lightening is so beautiful. I love watching it streak through the ash black sky. It's just so wonderful--the noise of the heavy rain plunging to the ground and the thunder cracking the sky like a whip. It's sexy. I would like to have sex in the wet grass on a stormy romantic night...or tie an innocent uke (or twink) to a tree and smack his asscheeks w/ a belt and maybe shove a cock like twig up his ass--I'm cruel. I wouldn't let him cum. HA! That's a little off topic--my perverted mind wandering--la la.
More importantly, I didn't know my friends were afraid of lightening. I was w/ my friend and suddenly the sky turned black--so black it looked like the world was coming to an end srsly. I was not scared. I just kept walking. And suddenly, this loud cracking thunder like a lion's roar echoes through the air. My friend started screaming. I was like "calm down." And then the lightening filled the sky.
Constant streaks of purple--looked just like lightening in the movies. My friend was now running and screaming. I was still not scared. It was just lightening. I understand ppl die from being hit by lightening but still I just wasn't scared. So, the lightening was still striking and my friend was screaming "We're in an open area. we're gonna die. I don't wanna die." My friend was literally almost in tears. And the police saw my friend running & screaming like a crazy person. They pull over and stop us. My friend ran into their car like an idiot, slamming against the car and fell down. The police got out of the car and my friend was hysterical. I was so embarrassed. They checked my friend for alcohol b/c they think my friend was obviously drunk or fucking crazy. And they gave us a ride home. So fucking embarrassing. Bleh. =__= Pika pika pikachuuuuuuuuuuuu.
More importantly, I didn't know my friends were afraid of lightening. I was w/ my friend and suddenly the sky turned black--so black it looked like the world was coming to an end srsly. I was not scared. I just kept walking. And suddenly, this loud cracking thunder like a lion's roar echoes through the air. My friend started screaming. I was like "calm down." And then the lightening filled the sky.
Constant streaks of purple--looked just like lightening in the movies. My friend was now running and screaming. I was still not scared. It was just lightening. I understand ppl die from being hit by lightening but still I just wasn't scared. So, the lightening was still striking and my friend was screaming "We're in an open area. we're gonna die. I don't wanna die." My friend was literally almost in tears. And the police saw my friend running & screaming like a crazy person. They pull over and stop us. My friend ran into their car like an idiot, slamming against the car and fell down. The police got out of the car and my friend was hysterical. I was so embarrassed. They checked my friend for alcohol b/c they think my friend was obviously drunk or fucking crazy. And they gave us a ride home. So fucking embarrassing. Bleh. =__= Pika pika pikachuuuuuuuuuuuu.
04 June, 2011
Sekaiichi Hatsukoi, Junjou Romantica & My Thoughts
Awww I love Sekaiichi Hatsukoi. I love Junjou Romantica a lot too. I always remember how far Shungiku Nakamura-sensei has come. I remember when I was in I think it was 8th grade--Junoir high school and I stayed home sick from school, of course I wasn't really sick. HA! But I begged my dad for $13 USD and he was like, "Why do u always want 13 dollars? That's such a weird amount." And I would just giggle. Little did he know it was because Digital Manga titles were $12.95 at the time. And I was so excited when I rushed into Borders' manga section, scouting out yaoi titles. I was so happy. And there it was, sitting between two non-yaoi titles was Hybrid Child. Do you remember Hybrid Child?! It was the first manga I ever read by Shungiku Nakamura. I loved that manga. Robotic Ukes being kissed and cuddled by their seme masters. It was just the cutest thing. Of course, now, I can't remember what my favorite story was in the manga but it's really cute. Anyone that hasn't read the manga really should.
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